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http://stepycc.blogspot.com/
tho i must say, i like the xanga feature where it posts your updates onto facebook....... | | |
| ok, despite the fact that i should really be working on my animal cell assignment......i really really must say this.....i honestly think those people writing our cell biology textbooks make things up along the way as they go.......does a protein pathway look too simple? let's just add some other random proteins in there and make them inhibit this and activate that, coz no one would ever know (or really, no one would ever care, unless you are an unfortunate one of the 18 stuck with this stupid assignment.......in case you are wondering, those are proteins involved with the cytoskeleton....)
but how did i come up with that conclusion? i spent the wee hours of yesterday night (or really today morning) scouring the UBC online articles resources looking for even a hint of a mention of the fact that PAK (p21-activiated) kinase) inhibits MLCK (myosin light chain kinase) and MHC (myosin heavy chain)........i could not find one mention of it at all....let alone having the PAK link back to Rac-GTPase............my conclusion, they made it up!!!
but i was surprised i actually got the right amount of sleep last night......slept at 4 and woke up at 9.....kinda like a regular weekday night...... | | |
| well, i think our entire program is breathing a sigh of relieve that we've actually made it to Monday evening......with the chem midterm, the comm draft, the plants exam and the microbi quiz behind us, what more can a microbi lab quiz and an animal cell lab write-up do to us?!.........but i must say, i'm surprised i've come this far as well, considering i have been rather stressed and somewhat depressed and maybe even slightly suicidal, i really didnt expect i'd make it through this weekend alive.......(and yes, i do mean it when i say suicidal......it cant be normal half wishing a car woudl smash into you when you cross the street, or half-hoping that you wouldnt wake up from those sleep-inducing flu medication XD)
but well, the only reason i actually finished eveyrthing this weekend was, ironically, coz i was sick.......this entire weekend saw me feverish and coughing with a very plugged up nose......and so basically all my usual weekend engagements were cancelled, and it was spent in bed, and at my computer, half-dead, desperately trying to type out my portion of the proposal........so i've managed to do rather well on the micro quiz, piece together 2.5 pages worht or words that contains fragments of citations from 15 different academic papers on bacterial remediation of heavy metals, and completely fail my plants lab exam.........and mind you, that plants exam was such a disgustingly stupid exam.......the pinnacle of stupidity was reached on the bottom of the third page, where keith asked us, for three marks, "we've done stem cuttings in the lab. What must happen inside the stem before roots can start growing?"......honestly!! it's such a wtf question!.....all we've done in the lab with stem cuttings was to chop off a stem, stick it in soil, and spray water all over it......how in the world were we supposed to know "what must happen before it'll start rooting"?!!!......and of course, the rest of the exam was littered with other anal questions.....just not ones worth a wtf label...........i, obviously, was aiming for a 100% on this exam so i can even have a chance of keeping my average........guess that's not happening anymore......
but i did manage to think of somehting on the bus (i guess jenn was right about commuting can be philosophical.....but of course, she can be right about a lot of things sometimes, if you dont count anything directionally related =P)........i've just come to realize that everything really is my fault.....it has nothing to do with God.....He is who He is and He has never changed......He was the same two years ago as He was before this whole dreaded program started as He is now........the only person that i can blame for all this crap in my life at the moment is me........I've decided I dont need Him anymore and I'm perfectly capable of handling things on my own (I mean, you just have to think that way, especially after proving to your mom that you can live 9 times beyond your life expectancy devoid of both parents and having throroughly enjoyed the entire process, minus the times they called and talked like i was a 5-year-old)......so basically that's still what i'm telling myself, that i'm capable, that i can do this on my own.......and very very obviously it's all getting thrown back into my face......but who am i to care? *shrug*..........besides, on top of being stressed and depressed, i'm also quite the workaholic and coward (obviously i'm running from my problems, or more like burying them under mountains of work)......so maybe i'll run from them a while longer still....i mean, school is such a convenient excuse........
so i guess there is only two possible outcomes out of this mess......either i survive till Apr 29th, and i'll use that May weekend to think everythign through (seeing i would have laid off my 4 wisdom teeth then and would be fasting, perfect time to pray, is it not?).........or i go through a complete breakdown sometime before that......hmmm.....maybe i shoudl schedule in a tentative date.......how does soemtime between the 19th and 21st sound?......there's the sun run on the 19th, the comm final project and final presentation (worht 65% of our mark) on the 20th, and a chem lab test and a microbi final exam on the 21st........ | | |
| So much for the second term being more spread out and easier than the first term......it was all a lie...T__T.......so here we are, on the final month of semester, and every imaginable thing is now piled onto us before they let us go into our workplaces for the summer, all battered and sleep deprived and in much need of revitalization.............so as we trudge through this hell of a month, various thoughts will become quite the norm for the unfortunate souls in the program, ranging from suicide, homicide, and just the general feeling that your soul is being sucked out with each passing second as you sit there pulling your hair out trying to figure out how in the world you will even stay alive to see May...........
let's see what needs to be done........
Thursday, Apr 2 (school 8:30-4:30)
- Stats: Midterm #2
Friday, Apr 3 (school 8:30-3:30)
- Organic Chem: Midterm #2
PM: Fellowship
Saturday, Apr 4
AM: Prayer Meeting
PM: Chinese School, S-Club, Forum4Him
Sunday, Apr 5
AM: Choir, Church
PM: TCF Quarterly Meeting
Monday, Apr 6 (school 8:30-4:30)
- Communications: Research Proposal Draft
- Microbi: Lecture Quiz
- Plants: Lab Exam
Tuesday, Apr 7 (school 8:30-4:30)
- Organic Chem: Lab Report due
- Microbiology: Lab Review Questions due, Lab Quiz
Wednesday, Apr 8 (school: 8:30-2:30)
UBC Electron Microscope Field Trip
Animal Cell: Final Lab Report due
PM: Tuti x2
Friday, Apr 10
AM: Good Friday Service
PM: Fellowship
Saturday, Apr 11
AM: Prayer Meeting
Sunday, Apr 12
AM: Choir, Sunday School
PM: Easter Music Special
Monday, Apr 13
PM: dinner at LCM's
Wednesday, Apr 15 (school: 8:30-2:30)
- Microbi: Article Presentation
PM: Tuti x2
Thursday, Apr 16 (school 8:30-4:30)
- Animal Cell: Protein Report Due
- Stats: Lecture Quiz
Friday, Apr 17 (school 8:30-3:30)
PM: Fellowship
Saturday, Apr 18
AM: Prayer Meeting
PM: Chinese School, S-Club
Sunday, Apr 19
AM: Sun Run
Monday, Apr 20 (school 8:30-4:30)
- Communications: Proposal Due, Proposal Presentation
Tuesday, Apr 21 (school 8:30-4:30)
- Organic Chem: Lab Report due, Lab Assignment Due, Lab Quiz
- Microbiology: FINAL EXAM (2:00-4:00)
Wednesday, Apr 22 (school: 8:30-2:30)
PM: Tuti x2
Thursday, Apr 23 (school 8:30-4:30)
- Stats: Lecture Quiz
Friday, Apr 24 (school 8:30-3:30)
- Microbi: Final Lab Report due
- Plants: FINAL EXAM (12:30 - 2:30)
PM: Fellowship
Saturday, Apr 25
AM: Prayer Meeting
PM: Chinese School
Sunday, Apr 26
AM: Choir, Sunday School
Monday, Apr 27
- Organic Chem: FINAL EXAM (9:30 - 12:30)
Tuesday, Apr 28
- Stats: FINAL EXAM (10:30 - 12:30)
Wednesday, Apr 29
- Animal Cell: FINAL EXAM (10:30 - 12:30)
PM: Tuti x2
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| well, first day back from spring break........i guess thus starts the long stretch before finally ending for the summer come April 29.......i must say, this break has given my brain way too much extra time to be brooding on its own thing.....so i think school will actually, on the surface, do me some good......in the sense that i get a chance to absolutely forget about everything else..........i was so bitter and angry on sunday afternoon that i surprised even myself......i was pretty much angry at everything possible......i was angry at my parents for having such a crappy marriage relationship (and i had always known that i would never let my marriage turn out like their's.....but the feeling has never been quite that intense), i was mad at my mom for always treating me like a 5-year-old (you should hear what she says on the phone...), i was mad at the program for demanding so much of my time and energy yet getting me nowhere closer to where i really want to be, i was mad at church for being so darn lukewarm.........so yes, i had my fit of rage yesterday afternoon........so i'm kinda glad school is starting again, that way i can be drowned in the world of vesicular transport and microbial virions and not have to be depressed at how sad the state of my life has become........
(completey random, but i think it only struck me why animal cell is actualy considered a third-year course, UBC BIOT 310 according to the program catalog.......but yes, we were going over ER glycosylation and the formation of vesicles today.....and to think we are just scratching at the surface of it all despite all the complexity that's already there......."there is no God" my butt!)
anyways..........let's see what has already barged into my schedule for the next 8 weeks....
- Fri (Mar 20): chem quiz, microbi quiz
- Sat (Mar 21): Sclub movie and dinner, patt's bday dinner
- Sun (Mar 22): leading choir, translating
- Mon (Mar 23): Plants midterm
- Tues (Mar 24): microbi lab quiz
- Fri (Mar 27): Plants Lab Exam #2
- Sat (Mar 28): Worship event at Bethlehem
- Thur (Apr 2): Stats midterm #2
- Fri (Apr 3): Chem midterm #2
- Sun (Apr 5): TCF meeting
- Mon (Apr 6): 15-page proposal first draft deadline
- Sun (Apr 12): Easter Evening Service Special
- Wed (Apr 15): microbi article presentation
- Fri (Apr 17): Plants Exam #3
- Sun (Apr 19): Sun Run
- Mon (Apr 20): 15-page proposal due, proposal presentation
- Tues (Apr 21): chem lab quiz, microbi final
- Fri (Apr 24): plants final
- Mon (Apr 27): chem final
- Tues (Apr 28): stats final
- Wed (Apr 29): Animal cell final
- Fri (May 1): wisdom teeth pulled
- Mon (May 3): tentative co-op start date
- Sat (May 9): Third Day concert!!!!
TBA:
- animal cell lab final report
- microbi lab final report
and of course, that's all on top of all the regular to-do things..........it's a joy, isnt it?
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